Wayfarers of Veeshan

There are times during your career as a caster that you'll find yourself grouped with those crazy melee-type classes. I offer the following tips for working with the gate-inhibited:

Melees are poor at math and don't understand that 20 mana is less than 100 mana, thus they keep pulling. You can help the tank visualize your mana bar by keeping his health bar at the same level. Some warriors cannot comprehend this either and pull anyway. This is called natural selection.

Paladins get a very annoying ability called Lay on Hands that they carry around like a personal get out of death free card. They will happily pull Venril Sathir to your right courtyard group confident that LoH will save the day. It's imperative that you "fizzle" a few heals, forcing them to burn this right away. Now your group is relatively safe from your pally for one game day.

Monks get a similar ability called Mend. They tend to be more selfish in its use, so make a hotkey saying Monk, please cast MEND on %t. and click it every two minutes. If they try to claim they can’t, tell them your brother’s 16 monk can Group Mend. Then accuse them of being ebayed.

Tanks think all casters med at something like 500 mana a tick. When you report your current mana they, despite being poor at math, mentally tack on another 30% to compensate for .003 second delay your message spent traversing the internet. To correct for this, subtract 30% from all mana reports. This is called the "Scotty Principle."

Rogue twinks are your enemy. They join the group with 15 hit points left dual wielding 10/10 weapons that proc Insidious Taunt and immediately demand haste. You cannot afford to heal rogues. Give them something with a boot icon -- Scale of Wolf for instance.

Many people do not understand the Ranger class and think they are like that dirty, unshaven guy from Lord of the Rings. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Rangers actually follow very strict principals of honor like Shaolin priests. Under their Bushido-like code, nothing brings more shame than being healed by another. Pat Morita explained this all at the last Fan Fair. He did say they were kinda dirty.

Keep your pet alive over all other group members. You can justify this by explaining that your 55 pet costs 50 mana more than Reviviscence. Be warned, they will try to confuse the issue by pointing out that you can’t even cast Reviviscence. Go into a long dissertation regarding the concept of community mana and the respect thereof.

If melees ask for strength say something like, "Yeah, that would be sweet -- maybe this drolvarg will drop it?" [Optional] Then cast Maniacal Strength on your pet.

Some casters suggest casting buffs on yourself or a pet as timers so you know when to refresh. While this may sound good on paper, it does not factor in the warrior who clicks off each buff every few minutes trying to check the names.

Don't get angry at the tank who responds to your "OOM" with "haste plz." What they really mean is, "Hastily get thyself to the zone while I buy you precious seconds with my unworthy life's blood, Good Priest." It's just hard to type all that between the crunching sounds. Respect the dying request of this proud roleplayer.

attributed to Barm McLir of the Saryn Server

I love it, but there is not bard bashing in this one

Wut, ua dint want dat Venrel yet? Me thot dat our 20-30 grupin cud handle him jest fine!

_________________
Surphat, Dragon Rider!

Surphat (DH) Paladin of 52 Seasons
Surfeedar Monk of 55 Seasons
Surhinlain Shaman of 62 seasons
Srailkat Rogue of the 52 Seasons
Sursadan Cleric of 57 Seasons
Surailadan Ench of 56 Seasons