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When EQ meets RL (funny found it on VeeshanVault.org http://www.wayfarersofveeshan.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=48&t=3366	Page 1 of 1

Author:	Elgcahl [ Sun May 23, 2004 4:46 pm ]
Post subject:	When EQ meets RL (funny found it on VeeshanVault.org
Welcome to Real Life! You have entered the bedroom. /time It is 06:30AM, February 24, 2000. It begins to rain. (alarm clock is sounding) You can't reach that from here. /attack Your target is too far away, get closer! You punch an alarm clock for 12 points of damage. You have slain an alarm clock! You have gained experience! You are encumbered. (kicks off sheets) Your body shivers as it's hit by a gust of freezing wind. (makes way to bathroom) You are no longer encumbered. You are too fatigued to jump! A chair hits YOU for 44 points of damage! You are stunned. /attack You cannot attack while stunned. You throw a chair into the hall. A chair died. You have gained experience! You have gained a level! Welcome to level 20! /surname SuperdudeTheManOfLaMancha This name was rejected by the name servers. Please select another. /surname Loserboy Your surname is now Loserboy! Congratulations! (Looks in mirror) /attack Try attacking something other than yourself. It's more productive. You begin to cast a spell... Your feet adhere to the ground. Your feet come free. (makes way to kitchen) (opens fridge and sees leftover turkey) /con It is futile to consider the dead... (smells bad) You may not loot this corpse at this time. You are hungry. You are thirsty. You are out of food and drink. (drinks a cup of coffee) Your feet begin to move faster. (forgets breakfast, begins to iron shirt) You are burned. An iron burns YOU for 3 points of damage. (irons shirt, then realizes it doesn't match pants) You may not equip this item. These items did not combine in these quantities to produce anything. It stops raining. You are hungry. You are out of food and drink. (you leave for work, grabbing a can of Dr. Pepper on the way out the door) LOADING...PLEASE WAIT... You have entered the elevator. /con A beautiful woman looks upon you warmly, what would you like your tombstone to say? Taking a screenshot... You are hungry. You are out of food and low on drink. /smile You beam a smile at a beautiful woman. A beautiful woman beams a smile at you. You have increased your skill at flirtation! (2) /wave You wave at a beautiful woman. A beautiful woman waves at you. You have increased your skill at flirtation! (3) /bow You bow before a beautiful woman. A beautiful woman bows before you. You are hungry. You are out of food and low on drink. You have increased your skill at flirtation! (4) You invite a beautiful woman to join your group. /hail You say "Hail, a beautiful woman." A beautiful woman says "I don't flirt with losers like you, much less talk to them!!!" A beautiful woman begins to cast a spell... You have been struck! You are stunned! A_beautiful_woman00 beams a smile at you. A_beautiful_woman00 says "Ahhh... I feel much better now." /attack You cannot attack while stunned! You cannot cast a spell while stunned! A beautiful woman rejects your offer to join the group. It starts to rain. You are hungry. You are out of food and low on drink. LOADING...PLEASE WAIT... You have entered your office. /con A co-worker glowers at you dubiously, looks like an even fight. You say "Hail a co-worker." A co-worker says "Can you spare any food or drink?" (Gives Dr. Pepper to Co-worker) You have gained experience! Your faction standing with Coworkers has improved! A Co-worker invites you to join a group. Click the FOLLOW button to join, or DISBAND to reject the offer. You have joined the group. You are hungry. You are out of food and drink. It stops raining. /con An email regards you indifferently, looks like a reasonably safe opponent. An email says: "It's over. I've found someone who will actually spend time with me, and not some stupid game." You have been dumped by a girlfriend! Your faction standing with Women of the World has improved. Your faction standing with Girlfriends has gotten worse. Your faction standing with Friends has improved. Your faction standing with Family has gotten worse. Your faction standing with Fellow EQ Junkies has improved. You have gained experience! A Co-worker tells the group "Red Boss incoming!" You tell the group "Watch this..." /con A boss scowls at you ready to attack. What would you like your tombstone to say? A boss says "Why are you always late?" /tell boss "Why are you always an ass?" Your faction standing with Coworkers has improved. (target boss) /gesture You make a rude gesture at a boss. Your faction standing with Coworkers has improved. A Co-worker tells the group "ROFL" A boss says "I'll teach you to interfere with me!" A Co-worker tells the group "RUN!!!" You have been removed from the group. A boss says "It's employees like you that have ruined your job! You'll not ruin mine!!" A Co-worker begins to cast a spell. A boss says "You're fired!" A Co-worker fades away. You have been fired by a boss! Your faction standing with Friends has gotten worse. Your faction standing with Family has gotten worse. Your faction standing with Coworkers has gotten worse. Your faction standing with Women of the World has gotten worse. Your faction standing with Fellow EQ Junkies has improved. You lose experience! You have lost a level! You are now level 19. LOADING. PLEASE WAIT... You are hungry. You are thirsty. You are out of food and drink. A Co-worker tells you "That sucked." _________________

Author:	Elgcahl [ Sun May 23, 2004 4:56 pm ]
Post subject:	Another funny
LOADING, PLEASE WAIT... You have entered Denny's. You say, 'Hail Denny's hostess' Denny's hostess says 'Hello, Tom. Welcome to Denny's. [Smoking] or [non-smoking]?' You say, 'non-smoking' You say, 'I would like non-smoking please' You say, 'what about non-smoking' Denny's hostess says 'Right this way, please.' You are out of food and drink. Corey shouts, 'has anyone seen the waiter?' Gary shouts, 'no and ive been camping him for a half hour' You are out of food and drink. Ester shouts, 'I see him' Corey shouts, 'dont kill him, i still have to do the order quest' You are hungry. You are thirsty. You are out of food and drink. You say, 'Hail Denny's waiter' Denny's waiter says 'Hello, Tom. You look like you could use some [coffee]' You say, 'Yes I'll have some coffee' You say, 'what about coffee' Denny's waiter says 'Ah, excellent! We have [regular] and [decaf].' You say, 'I will have some decaf' You say, 'what about decaf' You say, 'what about decaffeinated coffee' Denny's waiter says 'I expected nothing less of you. Here, take this.' You gain experience! Your faction standing with Juan Valdez got better You drink your coffee. You were hit by non-melee for 39 dmg YOU are burning! You shout, 'Ow hehe this coffee's hot' Karen shouts, 'Haha u sux0r' You are hungry. You are out of food. Annoying kid says 'Pikachuuuuuu' Annoying kid tries to hit YOU, but misses! Annoying kid tries to hit YOU, but misses! Annoying kid hits YOU for 3 points of damage. Auto-attack on. You hit Annoying kid for 17 points of damage. You hit Annoying kid for 22 points of damage. You have slain Annoying kid! Your faction standing with Disciplineless Mothers got worse Your faction standing with Denny's Customers got better Your faction standing with The World at Large got better Annoying kid's corpse0 says 'My mother will avenge my death!' You receive 3 copper as your split. You are hungry. You are out of food. Disciplineless mother says 'Your actions and history are a personal affront to all I stand for.' Disciplineless mother begins casting a spell. Disciplineless mother pet is enveloped in flames. Off-duty police officer says 'Hey! No pets in the building!' Disciplineless mother pet hits YOU for 18 points of damage. Off-duty police officer hits Disciplineless mother for 287 points of damage. Off-duty police officer hits Disciplineless mother for 234 points of damage. Off-duty police officer kicks Disciplineless mother for 27 points of damage. Disciplineless mother is slain by Off-duty police officer! Disciplineless mother pet hits YOU for 12 points of damage. Off-duty police officer hits Disciplineless mother pet for 262 points of damage. Off-duty police officer was burned. Disciplineless mother pet is slain by Off-duty police officer! Off-duty police officer says 'Let this be a lesson, that none can withstand the wrath of the San Diego Department of Public Safety.' You are hungry. You are out of food. You say, 'Hail Denny's waiter' Denny's waiter says 'Can I get you some more [coffee]?' You say, 'No, I want to place my order' You say, 'Can I place my order?' You say, 'Let me place my order dammit!' Denny's waiter says 'Ah, would you like to try our [Grand Slam Breakfast]?' You say, 'I will have the grand slam breakfast' Denny's waiter says 'How would you like your [eggs]?' You say, 'scrambled' You say, 'I would like them scrambled' You say, 'what about eggs' Denny's waiter says 'You can have [scrambled eggs] or [fried eggs].' You say, 'I will have scrambled eggs' Denny's waiter says 'Excellent, would you like anything to drink? Some [orange juice], perhaps?' You say, 'I will have orange juice' You say, 'what about orange juice' Denny's waiter says 'Our orange juice is fresh squeezed from concentrate.' You say, 'give me orange juice' Denny's waiter says 'Okay, I'll be right back with your orange juice.' You gain experience! You are hungry. You are out of food. Gordon shouts, 'Attention, your bacon is now raw, because fully-cooked bacon lacks the inherent risks associated with our Vision of Bacon.' Lawrence shouts, 'Wait a minute, this bacon hasn't been cooked for months' Gordon shouts, 'Uhh... yes it has.' Robert shouts, 'You kidding? We've been complaining about this stuff being raw for ages' Gordon shouts, 'Uh, whatever.' Gordon shouts, 'Oh.' Gordon shouts, 'uh.... I've just been informed that the bacon has been raw for several months now, but we were unable to determine this until we fixed a bug with the pancakes, which were previously large enough to obscure the bacon.' Gordon shouts, '... Oh, yeah, we nerfed your pancakes too.' Denny's waiter says 'Here is your breakfast, Tom.' You gain experience! Your faction standing with Denny's Customers got worse Scrambled eggs looks at you threateningly - what would you like your tombstone to say? You taste your eggs. You are chilled to the bone. You shout, 'oh man my eggs are cold' Robert shouts, 'petition a manager then' You petition, 'my scrambled eggs are cold' Kevin shouts, 'Ack train to restroom!!!' Thom says, 'Lynn, I still can't believe you can eat this stuff' Denny's waiter says 'Here is your breakfast, Lynn.' Lynn begins to cast a spell. Lynn is protected from poison. Lynn says, 'I always come prepared' You shout, 'Man, where's the manager' Karen shouts, 'Haha u pteitond a managr u sux0r' George tells you, 'Greetings, Tom, I am George, the Denny's manager. How can I assist you?' You tell George, 'my scrambled eggs are cold' George tells you, 'I will be with you as soon as possible, please stay patient' You sip your coffee. A cool breeze slips through your mind. George says, 'Greetings, Tom. Are your eggs still cold?' You say, 'yes' George begins to cast a spell. Scrambled eggs burst into flame. George says, 'Take care' Michelle says, 'Ack, I don't feel so well' Michelle begins to cast a spell. Alka-Seltzer staggers. Michelle staggers. Michelle beams a smile at Alka-Seltzer. Michelle says, 'Ahhh, I feel much better now...' Denny's waiter says 'Here, let me clear that away for you.' You say, 'Hey, wait, that's my food, I'm not done yet....' You shout, 'Hey, this waiter took my food' Corey shouts, 'Yep, they do that sometimes if you let your food sit there' You say, 'Hail Denny's waiter' Denny's waiter says 'Hello there, Tom, how can I help you?' You say, 'Check please' Denny's waiter says 'Okay, here you go.' You gain experience! You say, 'Hail Denny's cashier' Denny's cashier says 'Hello there, would you like to pay your [check]?' You say, 'Yes I want to pay my check' You say, 'what about my check' Denny's cashier says 'You must give me the check before I can reveal more to you.' Denny's cashier says 'Ah, excellent! Would you like to know your [total]?' You gain experience! Your faction standing with Denny's Cashiers got better You say, 'what is my total' Denny's cashier says 'Your total is 6 gold, 7 silver, 9 copper. Will you be paying with a [MasterCard]?' You say, 'yes I will use a mastercard' Denny's cashier says 'Unfortunately your MasterCard is over-limit. Would you prefer to pay with [cash]?' Your faction standing with MasterCard got worse Your faction standing with Cheesy-Ass High-Interest-Rate Credit Card Companies got better You say, 'yes I will pay with cash' Denny's cashier says 'Your total is 6 gold, 7 silver, 9 copper then.' You gain experience! You receive 2 silver. You receive 1 copper. Denny's waiter says 'You have stiffed me on my tip for the last time!' Denny's waiter crushes YOU for 217 points of damage! Denny's waiter crushes YOU for 204 points of damage! Denny's waiter hits YOU for 226 points of damage! Denny's waiter tries to hit YOU, but misses! Denny's waiter bashes YOU for 74 points of damage! You are stunned. Denny's waiter crushes YOU for 189 points of damage! You are bleeding to death! Denny's waiter crushes YOU for 221 points of damage! You have been slain by Denny's waiter! You are no longer stunned. LOADING, PLEASE WAIT... You have entered Verant. You shout, 'Can I get a SoW? My corpse is all the way over in Denny's' Karen shouts, 'Haha u sux3r'

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