I found this floating on our boards and just couldn't resist posting it here
This goes out to Kahmon, Darmoon and Snowdark...
Christmas, Shadowknight Style
T'was the night before christmas, all through Everquest
Folks were trying to be happy, and doing their best.
The druids and wizards were porting about,
The clerics were rezzing, and the merchant would shout.
The chanters were charming, the shamans were dishing out buffs
VI was nerfing drops and making mobs more tuff.
It seemed all was well as the long nite wore on,
But somewhere lurking and waiting, one man proved it wrong.
He was hidden in freeport, near the paladins Guild.
He knew his target would stop there. and the kids would be thrilled.
Off in the distance, a bard playing his flute
was coming home from a night filled with fun and much loot.
The one in the shadows readied himself for his quest
Tonight would be a battle to put his skills to the test.
His spells were all ready, his armor was clean,
His blade hard been sharpened to a nice evil sheen.
He bagan casting his spells, improving his sight
Nothing would get by him on this cold and dark night.
He could see the invisible, nothing would get past
This had been his mistake in the Christmas last.
At last he saw his target, crossing the skies
He gathered shadows about him, evading most eyes.
As the sleigh drew ever closer he could see his victim well,
It pleased him to send one more down to Hell.
The guards were all sleeping, they'd been drinking too much
They didnt hear the sleigh as it landed with a gentle touch.
As the fat man stood grinning he made not a sound.
He stopped and he took a good look all around.
He reached in the sleigh for his bag of phat lewt,
Then stopped as he saw a light gleam off his boot.
It was at this moment the hunter attacked
He lept through the air at the fat man's large back.
"You will not evade me Santa!" was the battle cry,
Tonight was the night when the fat man would die.
Santa whipped around and began to cast
But a shield upside his head interrupted the blast.
There was a moment of silence as the men stared into each other's eyes
But the silence was broken with new battle cries.
"I've come for you fat man, your soul shall be mine."
Was answered with "Bring it, it's Inky bashing time."
Santa was quad hitting, but did little damage
The DS on Kralthan made much battle spammage.
The fight was going badly for poor old St. Nick
He was getting a beating with every tick
When it seemed it was over, it started anew
Santa CH'd with a sound like "Achew"
Kralthan was frustrated, and used his Harm Touch
Which sent the fatty running, it had hurt him much.
Kralthan gave chase, and hit Santa with a snare
Santa CH'd again and turned to fight there.
They stood on the rooftop, trading their blows
As the world slept around them, nobody to know.
Kralthan was winning, soon phat lewt would be his
The sleigh, and the horses, and all that good shiz
But then Verant stepped in, he was struck down with lag
The fat man made a run and jumped in with his bag.
As Kralthan stood helpless Ol' Santa managed to Gate.
The lag went away and he stood frozen with hate.
Somewhere far away, at the north pole
Santa was thanking the Gods for returning him whole.
Though it seemed somehow Kralthan had lost the duel,
He'd try again next year, and perhaps break the rule.
As he snuck into the shadows and out of sight,
He shouted "Merry christmas to all, and to all a good fight.
Part 2
Christmas SK style, part 2 !!
The time once again was Christmas eve,
and all throughout Norrath no one did greive.
Their differences had all been put aside,
For one strange week Everquest was a smooth ride.
The monks were off pulling, with clerics to heal.
The warriors and rogues had much damage to deal.
Necros, beastlords and mages gave gifts to thier pets,
Shamans got shafted on dog bones, none had arrived yet.
Wizards and druids were begging to port,
with the portals from Knowledge it was now last resort.
Rangers were happy kiting stuff with thier bows,
And bards stood by to sing once the time arose.
Enchanters were busy making plat by the ton,
everyone needed KEI for the battle to be won.
It seemed all was peaceful throughout the land
except for the evil in the heart of one man.
This night brought him memories of a battle lost,
when the Gods had forsaken him and his luck had been tossed.
The year had been spent planning, he knew what to do.
Tonight would be different, this was round 2.
He'd been through some nerfings, but overall was stronger.
His spells did more damage and lasted much longer.
His shield and sword traded for an axe with great power,
He began his long journey as he realized the hour.
The hunter moved swiftly across the dark night,
his path laid out carefully with the end far from sight.
Through the cold snow he silently made his way,
cursing himself for not doing this by day.
The sky above was moonless and utterly black,
more than once he lost his way, but he'd never turn back.
Finally in Iceclad he summoned his pet.
"Now listen here Goner, dont make me regret."
"We have far yet to travel, it will be a long swim
So you'd better keep up or fall prey to my whim"
The skeleton nodded and said "Following you master."
Kralthan picked up the pace, they had to move faster.
Far out to sea did they need to travel,
but it was the only way for this scheme to unravel.
Swimming and swimming they made thier way north and east.
Below in the waters they were tracked by a great beast.
Its presence was felt and the evil knight slowed,
he turned to the waters and his fiery eyes glowed.
"Begone from me Lodi or you'll not survive!"
The great turtle turned away wanting to stay alive.
Finally they came to thier resting place,
an island unknown to nearly every race.
"Now sit right here Goner, and wait til you're called"
The skeleton fell to the ground in a pile of bones sprawled.
The Gravelord had feared he was late, it was nearing dawn.
But just at that moment his victim had spawned.
Santa popped right in front of him much by surpise.
Kralthan moved quickly and jabbed 2 fingers in his eyes.
"Why you dirty blue bastard, I knew you'd be back!"
"Dont sweet talk me Santa, I've come to attack!"
"I see you found my bindpoint,this time I cant gate."
"Thats right you fat slob, you'll bow down to my hate."
Both men stood thier ground, neither wanting to move.
When suddenly Santa did something crazy and began to groove!
He summoned 2 strange looking elves with a magical dance.
But both conned green to Kralthan who held his battle stance.
"I see you brought friends, but they'll help you not
This year you shall fall fat man, your body will rot.
You'll deliver no presents, not one single piece."
With this the dark warrior let his power release.
"Come to me Goner, the battle is nigh!"
The skelly jumped up and ran to attack the elf near the fat guy.
As the dark one moved forward, his axe caught the other an elf,
which was thrown to the ground like a vase from a shelf.
Santa finally fell victim to his own rage,
and rushed madly onward ready to engage.
Thats when the first spell hit him, draining his might.
Followed by another which set his very blood alight.
Goner the dead had defeated his foe,
and was now beating Santa from the waist below.
But Santa cared not as the battle waged still,
Kralthan merely laughed as he waited for the kill.
Santa was weakened, he put up little fight.
A well timed harmtouch stopped his CH outright.
A few axe swings later the fat man met his death.
"A curse on you Kralthan" came from his final breath.
The victor stood over his prey with a smile.
His hatred had finally been quenched for a while.
Then to his horror he noticed one fact,
Santa had no bag of gifts, not even a backpack!
He searched the fat corpse, but found only 2 gold.
His heart was again beginning to grow cold.
Just as he felt overcome with demise,
a smile crossed his face and he realized.
In the hands of the dead man there was still clutched a great stave.
At last the great reward due would be his to have.
Inspecting the weapon he felt a great joy,
never before had there been such a toy!
85 damage, with just 20 delay.
And stat boosts and bonuses to make him shout "Yay"
But to his horror he saw it was no drop,
Oh well, why sell such a thing in a shop.
But thats when he relized with utter disgust,
That in Verants nerfing he always could trust.
A staff of such power would never be used,
He felt so revolted and frankly abused.
Far at the bottom, on the base of the stick
He saw something that made him want to be sick.
The battle rewards totally stunk.
The Race was only Gnome, and the class only Monk!
All across the world curses were heard
Gm's all shuddered at the sound of the words.
They soon showed up, and banned our poor friend.
And bah humbug to all, this is the end.
Namarie,
--Darroch
