<i>(fade in)</i>
The Scene: A bar somewhere in the mystic Plane of Knowledge. Camera circles around a circular table where we see Drexxell (sitting on 4 spellbooks for height), Talinoth and Thunderhart enjoying their respective drinks. Drexxell sips what at first appears to be red wine, but seems inordinately thick. Talinoth, recently risen to the rank of Master Brewer, drinks some oddly bubbling concoction, apparantly hoping to rise to the level of "Master Imbiber" as well. Thunderhart merely drinks a frothy brew out of his helmet with loud gulps and the occasional wiping of his mouth upon a sleeve. The volume rises upon their conversation...
<b>Drexxell:</b> But that would be out of <b><u>ORDER</u></b>!
<b>Talinoth:</b> Drex, look...we're still going to get everything, just I think with Xandamir gone, we should go for the easiest item next, even if it is out of the set "order" that we agreed to.
<b>Drexxell:</b> But that would be out of <b><u>ORDER</u></b>!
<b>Thunderhart (under his breath):</b> loser
<b>Talinoth:</b> C'mon Drex, a little flexibility here. We've been to Runnyeye before. This will be cake. Then I'll be better equipped for the <b>harder</b> parts of The Great Item Hunt 2003-A that are coming up.
<b>Drexxell:</b> We....we'll go back and...and still do things in order, except for Runnyeye?
<b>Thunderhart (cough-speaking, under his breath):</b> A.R. loser
<b>Drexxell (throwing a dirty look at Thunderhart and squinting his eyes): </b> Alright then. Let's do this thing.
<i>(fade to black)</i>
----------------------------------------------------------
<i>(fade in on Drexxell sitting at the entrance to Runnyeye, writing on a scroll)</i>
Dear Wayfarers...
Knowing that some of you have been following the progress of The Great Item Hunt 2003A, I thought you should know about a record-setting pace last night. First, we decided to acquire one item out of order (I <i>know</i>, I was shocked too!) and head to an old stomping ground, the Liberated Citadel of Runnyeye. From some papers Talinoth had found last time we were here, he learned that the ruling class goblins all tended to wear a certain medallion which boosted their piddling intellects up to somewhere near quasi-sentience. Surely such an item would make our wise druid wiser still. Upon entering the citadel, Talinoth immediately stooped to the ground with an "A-Ha!". We gathered round and he pointed to a glob of spit on the dirt. We looked at him questioningly....and in his best scholarly voice, and holding back what seemed to me to be downright arrogance, he proceeded to lecture us on tracking:
"You see boys, the Pickclaw Goblin (or "Goblinicus Pickclawsium") is known to chew tobacco, unlike their lesser cousins the Runnyeye Goblin (or "Goblinicus Conjunctiviticus"). So, as you can clearly see a gob of tobacco spit next to a 2.73 hour old goblin footprint, it indicates that a Pickclaw was here. NOW then, if one TASTES the spittle (and he did, ugh) one can discern the hint of sulfur. And only one Pickclaw goblin is known to chew sulfur with his tobacco, and that is Battlewizard Unak. Therefore, I deduce that Battlewizard Unak is in the house".
It was with disgusted faces that we watched Talinoth actually do this, and we we had to suppress our laughter when we pointed to a message, roughly scratched in the wall behind Talinoth which read "Baddlewyzurd Unak wuz here".
Collecting our wits, we made our way to the bowels of Runnyeye and with Talinoth's continually superior tracking skills, made our way face to face with the loathesome Battlewizard Unak, tobacco stains surrounding him on the floor, the stench of sulfur on his breath. We were overjoyed at the speed with which we had found him, and even more so by how fast he and every underling around him fell. (Hard to believe we were ever afraid of this level of Runnyeye). Talinoth knelt over the body, mumbled a prayer to Tunare, and gently looted the <a href="http://everquest.allakhazam.com/db/item.html?item=6020">Black Alloy Medallion</a> from the Battlewizard.
Total time on this item: 4 minutes (a new record)
<a href="http://www.kreative.net/smith/pages/dru/games/eq/tgih03a.theplan.txt">The Great Item Hunt 2003-A</a> was now 5 for 5 out of <a href="http://www.kreative.net/smith/pages/dru/games/eq/tgih03a.wishlist.txt">8 items.</a>
Drex
_________________ Drexxell , 71st GNecrOMancEr -- Wielder of ( ) Druul , 60th Troll Shaman ( ) + Wielder of and Driss, 51st Dwarf Priestess of Brell Serilis Dralia, 36th Erudite Enchantress
|