Hi... I just read this whole forum and there's a thing that I think might help some to feel better about the situation. Maybe only if you'd remember that the way of sincere satisfaction and happyness isn't extrinsic (spelling?). Intrinsic (spelling?) satisfaction is the only one that can garantee you fulfillment because it only depends on you, and not on other factors. (P.S.: Consider that I took some basic psychology classes and that it's probably why I speak of satisfaction and joy, not happyness)
Definitions of intrinsic and extrinsic: I don't remember well the exact definitions but I just remember that intrinsic means the origin of your satisfaction comes from your action/way of thinking, and extrinsic means it's coming from anything outside of yourself.
For exemple, intrinsic: "I want to reach level 40 because reaching it would be a very joyful happening for a reason that I've found that fits me, and I found this reason by myself to please me." -- In this case, the fact that it's intrinsic provides you a garantee that you will not be deceived nor bored by your goal or ideal because you're the one who wants it. You might not get to 40, but you'll have wanted to reach it for a good reason that you'll have found; and that makes so that trying to reach 40 will satisfy your thirst of accomplishment. In this case, if you reach your goal, you'll feel good about it for as long as you want cuz you'll always have the freedom to say "I'm proud of myself for reaching 40, that's what *I* wanted" without nobody interferring. Disclaimer: Happyness is not garanteed by having intrinsic goals or achieving them; it also depends on how your reaction facing failure and/or other not cool happenings, and many other things.
For exemple, entrinsic: "I want to reach level 65 the fastest to be the best because doing so will make so that others will recognise me as a good player; I will be accepted by them and I will have earned their respect." (Yes, the exemple is caricatured) -- In this case, the fact that it's intrinsic makes your objective depend on external factors such as "other's opinion", "fitting into a group", "social acceptance", etc.. You CAN/WILL find joy/satisfaction after reaching your goal, BUT that joy will depend on the outside world, meaning that you have no control on it's transformations, meaning that your joy will probably be ephemeral (ie: isn't born to last). In other words, your fulfillment might not be based on good foundations (them being uncontrollable), and will probably cause you to eventually feel "empty" again, making your past efforts futile and creating a new need for other extrinsic positive experiences. Why? Because the criterias of your satisfaction are based on a scale that is relative to someone else; and since your relative state vs others isn't stable, so will be your satisfaction.
All that to say that EverQuest offers you extrinsic reasons to find satisfaction, and knowing that once you'll have reached them you won't be totally satisfied (because everyone will have reached that same goal and that you will have lost the identity that you'll have aimed for (ie: feeling that you are unique - which is lost because your goal made you act in a way that made you become like everyone else)), EQ's creators offer you new extrinsic goals (with new expansions, a new chance to try and "be yourself").
My message is: Find your own reason to feel good about what you do. That being in Eq and in Real Life. If your goal was your epic and what you liked about it was spending time with your friends to get it, don't change your way of seeing your epic because there's a new epic coming. Wear yours as a totem eriged (is that a word?) by you and your friends! See what I mean? Don't fall for new extrinsic goals, and mostly, DON'T abolish your old intrinsic goals, even if you have reached them.
Reka, I support you very much dude cuz you're not part of the majority that fell for those extrinsic goals; you've found your own way of satisfaction. My appranti-psychologue experience would lead me to think that you're not exactly content with your situation of real RolePlayer because you're doubting it in a way (which is normal because we are all being pushed to purchase social approbation) because you doubt a bit that you're in the right path (due to the fact that you're part of the minoritary group). Am I right? I might be far from being right... I haven't spent enough time with you yet to understand you fully
But still, I admire the part that I've had the chance to know about you in the past week. You da man
This is starting to be a really long post.. too long maybe for what it's worth. It was my two cents.
Ciao people!!! Keep it up! In hope this helped some fella wayfarers
P.S.: I may be wrong. You may diverge of opinion with me... and that's all cool
Login
Register
FAQ
Search
